All you can do is the best you can do.

I don't know how people make these descriptions so pithy. American, 34, white, bi/pan, demi, in committed ltr, and I don't have many fandoms but the ones I do I do hard.
AO3: http://archiveofourown.org/users/bomberqueen17

Jul 30

Today’s shit list is topped by my office mate who has been stealthily, near-subliminally humming the bass line from “Groove Is In The Heart” all morning.


dontbearuiner:

bomberqueen17:

Facebook you ass, Messenger is the only thing I use about your stupid fucking app, if you make me install a second fucking app I will never use it again. WTF is wrong with you.

WORD.

OH GOD.

I just got that email, and it’s like…WTF I DIDN’T INSTALL IT ALREADY BC I AGGRESSIVELY DID NOT WANT.

Right???
I do not want yet another way for people to contact me assuming I am always available. What the fuck is wrong with having a system where you send a message and the other person responds when they get around to it? I was already pissed when they started notifying senders that you’d SEEN their message. Sweet pissing Jesus, sometimes I need to answer requests for attention NOT in the order in which they are received, but instead in order of URGENCY. Yes I saw your message but I was being shot at at the time and more urgently needed to duck!
Fucking hell, stop dictating to me how I am to communicate.


Facebook you ass, Messenger is the only thing I use about your stupid fucking app, if you make me install a second fucking app I will never use it again. WTF is wrong with you.


thefallingtower:

tamorapierce:

doctorscienceknowsfandom:

anatsuno:

navalenigma:

shayvaalski:

friendlycloud:

agewa:

“We went to Kineshma, that’s in Ivanovo region, to visit his parents. I went as a heroine and I never expected someone to welcome me, a front-line girl, like that. We’ve gone through so much, we’ve saved lives, lifes of mothers, wives. And then… I heard accusations, I was bad-mouthed. Before that I’ve only ever been “dear sister”… We had tea and my husband’s mother took him aside and started crying: “Who did you marry? A front-line girl… You have two younger sisters. Who’s going to marry them now?” When I think back to that moment I feel tears welling up. Imagine: I had a record, I loved it a lot. There was a song, it said: you have the right to wear the best shoes. That was about a front-line girl. I had it playing, and [his?] elder sister came up and broke it apart, saying: you have no rights. They destroyed all my photos from the war… We, front-line girls, went through so much during hte war… and then we had another war. Another terrible war. The men left us, they didn’t cover our backs. Not like at the front.” from С.Алексеевич “У войны не женское лицо”

In Soviet Union women participating in WWII were erased from history, remaining as the occasional anecdote of a female sniper or simply as medical staff or, at best, radio specialists. The word “front-line girl” (frontovichka) became a terrible insult, synonimous to “whore”. Hundreds thousand of girls who went to war to protect their homeland with their very lives, who came back injured or disabled, with medals for valor, had to hide it to protect themselves from public scorn. 

This has always happened in history: Women do something important. Then they get shamed for it (so nobody will talk about it) and it gets erased from history.

And then certain men will say: “Women suck, they’ve never done anything important.”

Look into history and learn that women have played a far greater role then douches (present and past) wanted you to know.

Hey Will (and Jack) I got you something.

So this is important. Let me tell you a story.

All the time I spend debating about women in combat, I’ve picked up on a trend that disturbs me. Supporting or attacking, people are quick to draw on biology, psychology, law, but very rarely - almost never - do I hear about the history of women in combat, and the evidence their service lends to this debate.

Hundreds of thousands of women faced combat in WW2, and on both sides, and on all fronts, and it is a history that has been almost completely erased from contemporary awareness. I have been given arguments about how women can not psychologically handle combat. And about how women in mixed-gender combat units will automatically disrupt group cohesion - the brotherhood, if you will. Both of these assertions are erasure.

Women have not lived in a protective bubble untouched by combat for all of history. Women have been killed, wounded, and captured in combat, and tortured after. We are not living a world where these are hypothetical situations women have yet to prove they can handle. Unfortunately, they have, they can, in the future, they probably will, again and again. Soviet women served as partisans, snipers, tank drivers, fighter pilots, bombers. And more.

Both British and American women served in mixed-gender AA units. I could drag you through several examples of British women performing exemplarily despite being wounded, or seeing their comrades die. The Luftwaffe did not discriminate. Between the British and the Americans, it was determined that mixed gender units actually performed much better than all male units, because of teamwork. Because women are better and certain tasks, men are better at certain tasks, and at other tasks they are comparably efficient, and in a team, hopefully, in combat, you let the best do what they are best at. For the most part, they were proud to serve together. 

German propaganda never commented on the British AA units, but they thoroughly smeared the Soviet fighting woman - flitenweiber. People often argue with me that women are a threat to group cohesion because men naturally give women preferential treatment. Which certainly explains why men are more likely to survive shipwrecks. And history shows us that Germans soldiers had no chivalrous compunction when it came to shooting captured Soviet women who were armed.

We’re fed a history of war that almost exclusively features white male figures, most of whom fit into this destructive constructed myth of the soldier that is somehow both chivalrous and charmingly womanizing and who’s sense of brotherhood is unshakably dependent on the band being all man. There is no history of woman at war, none. I hear a lot about how women have no upper body strength, I hear nothing about the Front-Line Female Comrade.

THE WORD FRONTOVICHKA BECAME A TERRIBLE INSULT - are you fucking kidding me? Fuck, that made me cry. At first when I started reading I thought I was reading alernate history fiction. I’m ashamed to be ignorant about this, and full of rage and much worse bitter shame that this history is constantly repressed, suppressed, hidden. WHAT THE FUCK. D: D: D:

I didn’t know that bit about the AA (Anti-Aircraft) units.

And even in this article I don’t see a mention of the women of the Israeli Army, or women of the resistance if we’re just sticking to WWII.  I didn’t know about the Russian soldiers, only the fighter pilots, the night witches, and I’ve spent years poking into the corners of history trying to find women who will serve as ammunition when men tell me women can’t fight. 

The best explanation I’ve heard of what happened to women after WWII comes from “A League of Their Own,” the publicist’s character: “What is this—the war is over, Rosie, turn in your rivets?”  Women all over the world had to step into the same old ruts.

I don’t think it’s any mistake at all that Betty Friedan wrote her ground-breaking text for the second wave of feminism, THE FEMININE MYSTIQUE, just 10 years after WWII, after women had dined on a full plate of the same old, same old.

And shame on the men who never stood up for the women who worked and fought beside them, and saved their lives.

There were Soviet AA units that absolutely wrecked the Nazis on several occasions. I was reading about them recently because the most recent Jucifer album has some pieces about them. and women in WWII in general.

Last year I participated in a WWII re-enactment. I was with a unit of French Resistance. In a massive event with over a thousand participants, our four women were the only armed women at the event. In the MIDDLE of the combat, an event administrator came over and YANKED the girl next to me out, claiming she’d handled her weapon unsafely. (The man next to me, a 30-year re-enactment veteran, had been supervising her, on her request. Others in our unit included a 16-year-old boy; we knew fine well we had a lot of rookies, and we had taken measures to ensure their safety. This administrator didn’t care, he just waded right in and yanked her out on the basis of something he thought he’d seen from forty feet away.) We filed all kinds of complaints and event reports, but to my knowledge, the administrator was never told he was wrong to do that. The woman in question had been with the group for years, portraying a USO entertainer (she was a phenomenal singer), but she had always, always wanted to fight. After the incident, she was considering leaving the group.

One of the big re-enactment groups said they didn’t want any women participating in combat roles. 

So there you go— it’s 2014 and American women can participate in combat in the military, but historic re-enactors don’t think they’re safe to run around shooting blanks from historic weapons. We should just get back over to the volunteer tent and hand out water bottles and leave history to the men. 

(via hellotailor)


Jul 29

I think I did it. 

I think I finished a story.

I gotta read it back over and see if it makes sense. But I think I did it. 10 chapters, the last one extra-long, making 103,700 words in total. I think. 

It might not make sense though.


vulcandroid:

bigbardafree:

you know i think a lot of people (read: men) think that kirk is a womanizer because of the power fantasy aspect of his character

for all intents and purposes jim kirk is a male power fantasy: he’s a captain, he’s well respected, handsome, can hold his own in a fight (or at least we’re supposed to believe that he can despite seeing how he fights haha) and he’s very charming to women

where i think “womanizing kirk” honestly comes from is from men projecting their own male power fantasies onto kirk and for a lot of men that fantasy includes control over and objectification of woman despite kirk never having treated a woman with anything but respect

and i think that’s what makes me so uncomfortable about men who think kirk was a womanizer

they aren’t actually talking about the character they are talking about how they view the typical male power fantasy and that their fantasy includes being able to demean women without consequence 

this is super important and incredibly well-phrased

You learn a lot from the things people project onto fictional people and situations. 

(via bewaretheides315)


castielcampbell:

bettervillains:

life-at-taco-bell:

You would think that teenagers would be the rudest customers when really it’s mostly old, middle-aged people. 

  

i literally had these two teenagers apologizing to me for getting a video game for them and checking them out. meanwhile their parents are being the rudest people i’ve ever witnessed

My retail experience bears this out extensively. The teens are shy, awkward, generally deferential; little kids with their parents are bratty but if challenged, retreat. The parents? Entitled assholes. And I live across the street from a high school— a boys’ high school, generally attended by wealthy kids. The kids are fine. I garden in a low-cut top, they ignore me. Their parents park across my driveway and give me the stink-eye and drive on my lawn and sit in the middle of the road on their cellphones. 

I don’t wanna hear your shit about kids these days, folks.

(via ducksbellorum)


Jul 28
dontbearuiner:

newyorker:

A cartoon by Harry Bliss. For more cartoons from this week’s issue: http://nyr.kr/1pAm6nz

This seems heartless, but oh man.
There are so many things my Mom cooked that I never learned how to make and I will spend the rest of my life thinking about how much I miss them.

My dude’s grandma died shortly after we moved out here. 
We hurried to the hospital, but just missed her passing. 
Gathered around the bed with his mom and his aunts and various of his cousins, we all cried a little, and then Aunt Jean said “oh my God who has the potato salad recipe?” and Z’s mom said “Oh, I do. But the poppy seed bread?” “I have that,” Aunt Carol said, “but it uses a bread mix you can’t get anymore, so I’ve been modifying it. But the ham salad?” “I have that one,” Aunt Jean said. And we all breathed a collective sigh of relief, gazing down at Gram’s still-warm body, holding one another’s hands, and then Aunt Jean realized she’d just stuffed her Kleenex into her sleeve cuff just like Gram always did, and we all cried some more.

dontbearuiner:

newyorker:

A cartoon by Harry Bliss. For more cartoons from this week’s issue: http://nyr.kr/1pAm6nz

This seems heartless, but oh man.

There are so many things my Mom cooked that I never learned how to make and I will spend the rest of my life thinking about how much I miss them.

My dude’s grandma died shortly after we moved out here. 

We hurried to the hospital, but just missed her passing. 

Gathered around the bed with his mom and his aunts and various of his cousins, we all cried a little, and then Aunt Jean said “oh my God who has the potato salad recipe?” and Z’s mom said “Oh, I do. But the poppy seed bread?” “I have that,” Aunt Carol said, “but it uses a bread mix you can’t get anymore, so I’ve been modifying it. But the ham salad?” “I have that one,” Aunt Jean said. And we all breathed a collective sigh of relief, gazing down at Gram’s still-warm body, holding one another’s hands, and then Aunt Jean realized she’d just stuffed her Kleenex into her sleeve cuff just like Gram always did, and we all cried some more.



ceeturnalia:

backhanded compliments on my work are always so much better than i expect, i mean, i usually really hate this sort of thing. 

Tags: i think there’s a huge difference between i tried this even though i was unsure and i enjoyed itwhich is a real compliment versus i expected this to suck but it didn’t! which is just shitty like if you mean that you tried something out of your zone and you were pleasantly surprised just SAY that

That is so well said, and also funny, and witty, and much better than any way I’d’ve said this. And now I’m going to spoil it by wittering on pointlessly about my own personal experience, which is what I do.

I get this so much. It’s actually a significant portion of what feedback I get. (I am not, as you may have guessed, anything like what one would term as a Big Name Fan. I am not even a Name. I have few readers and fewer commenters, and each is unutterably precious.) I try to take it as flattering— like, wow, I’m such a great writer that I attract a lot of people into trying things that aren’t their normal thing!— but I get it so much that it’s kind of like the water-drop torture? where once or twice is okay but you get it enough and you’re like oh my god i write shit and these poor assholes are forcing themselves to wade through it and i don’t understand why.

I love when people comment, it means the world, but part of the reason so many authors love comments so much is that it is so lonely— writing really is a person bleeding alone in the dark onto a page, that’s what it is to write— and so another person coming into that dark room with you means so, so, so much. And when they come in and say I normally hate this sort of thing it is very, very hard, speaking as that person who has been bleeding alone in that dark room for so long, to hear anything but I hate this sort of thing and curl up and wither.

So there is nothing wrong with pointing out that this piece enticed you as a reader out of your comfort zone. But if you could find it in your heart to remember that writing has no comfort zone— and for some of us, it isn’t really even voluntary, it’s a compulsion— and so this is a pretty intensely vulnerable thing— It’s not that I can’t take crit (it’s taken me decades, and I’m not good at it, but I am so goddamned fucking lonely it is an exquisite and rare agony to find someone who is interested enough to provide constructive feedback— and you know, it has been a very long time since anyone has wanted to do that for me)— but if it does not have that scaffolding of interest in improvement, if it is just carelessly-worded somewhat-flippant backhanded compliments… Well. 

It’s hard to recover from, is all. 


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